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I call things as I see em. Or sometimes, as I spell em.

A white dish towel with multicolored grid lines and red embroidered text that reads "Actual F***in Towel," hanging on a black textured surface.
A white dish towel with multicolored vertical stripes and red embroidery that reads 'Actual Fuckin Towel', placed on a black textured surface.
Close-up of fabric with embroidered text reading 'Actual F***ing Towel' on checkered material.